From Nervous to Confident: Helping You or Your Child Tackle a New Challenge
Starting something new—whether it’s a sport, a musical instrument, or a new school (or job)--can feel intimidating for kids (and adults, too!). It’s natural to feel nervous, but with the right support and mindset, those nerves can turn into clarity and confidence. Here’s how to help your child (or yourself) move from anxious to assured when embarking on a new adventure.
1. Acknowledge the Fear (and Normalize It!)
Instead of dismissing nervousness with phrases like “You’ll be fine” or “Don’t worry,” acknowledge that starting something new can feel uncomfortable. Let your child know it’s okay to feel nervous, and remind them that even successful people experience those same feelings. You might say: “I totally get why you feel this way. I was nervous when I started [new job, public speaking, etc.], too. But guess what? It got easier with time!” Sharing your own stories reinforces your parent-child relationship.
2. Break It Down Into Small Steps
Big changes can feel overwhelming, so help your child take small, manageable steps. If they’re starting a new sport, maybe the first step is just watching a practice. If it’s a new hobby, they can begin with a short session instead of diving in for hours. Small wins build confidence. Also, encourage them to envision successfully accomplishing each step to build confidence, motivation, and a belief in themselves.
3. Focus on the Process, Not Perfection
Kids often fear they’ll “fail” at something new because they've never done it before. Shift the focus from results to effort. Instead of praising outcomes (“You scored a goal!”), Praise perseverance (“You worked really hard on that skill today!”). Learning takes time, and the goal is growth, not instant success because growth lasts a lifetime!
4. Share Stories of Resilience
Kids love stories, and hearing about others who overcame challenges can be inspiring. Share personal experiences or examples of famous figures who struggled before succeeding (e.g., Helen Keller, who overcame deafness and blindness to become an author and activist, or J.K. Rowling, who overcame poverty and rejection before Harry Potter became a success).
5. Create a Supportive Environment
Encourage your child by being involved, whether that means attending practices, asking about their progress, or simply cheering them on. Surround them with positive influences—mentors, friends, or teachers—who reinforce their efforts and who believe in them.
6. Celebrate Effort and Progress
Even small victories deserve recognition. Did they show up to the first class despite their nerves? That’s a win! Did they practice a little longer today? Another win! Encouragement doesn’t have to be big—sometimes, a simple “I’m proud of you” makes all the difference.
7. Be Patient and Allow for Setbacks
Not every new experience will go smoothly, and that’s okay. If your child wants to quit right away, talk through their feelings instead of immediately pulling them out. Sometimes, nervousness fades after a few tries. If they still want to stop, help them reflect on what they’ve learned from the experience.
Final Thoughts
Confidence isn’t built overnight—it’s developed through experience, encouragement, and a willingness to try. By guiding your child through new challenges with patience and positivity, you’re helping them build a skill that will benefit them for a lifetime. What challenge have you overcome, and how did you do it?
