6 Easy Ways to Help Your Child Make Friends
Watching your child struggle to make friends can be heartbreaking. As parents, we want to step in and navigate the journey for them, but we can’t, especially if your child is older. Whether they’re shy, new to a school, or just unsure how to connect, friendships are essential to their overall confidence and happiness. The good news? You can gently guide them toward meaningful friendships without forcing the process.
Here are some simple, encouraging ways to help your child find their next bestie, buddy, or squad:
1. Start with Shared Interests
Friendships often grow from common interests. Encourage your child to join a club, sport, or activity they enjoy—whether it’s robotics, art, taekwondo, or chess. Being around kids who pursue the same things makes conversations (and friendships!) come more naturally.
2. Practice Social Skills at Home
If your child struggles with what to say after the initial ‘hi’ or ‘hey,’ practice small talk together. Role-play introductions or brainstorm conversation starters like:
“I like your backpack! Where did you get it?” Suggest to your child that they emphasize what they like, such as the color, design, brand, or zipper charms.
“What do you like to do after school?”
“I need a new book to read. What are you reading?” (Maybe Madison is Possibly, Probably, Positively Guilty? 😊)
To avoid the conversation ending with one single question, suggest your child share their answers, too, especially to the last two questions.
3. Encourage One-on-One Playdates
Large groups can feel overwhelming. Help your child connect with one friend at a time through a casual playdate, a trip to the park, or a shared activity like bowling, playing music, building model kits, miniature golf, tennis, swimming, or doing a craft.
4. Teach Them to Look for Kindness
Not all friendships have to be instant. Encourage your child to notice classmates who are kind, inclusive, or share a sense of humor. Sometimes, great friendships take time to grow!
5. Lead by Example
Kids learn a lot from watching how adults interact. Let them see you making small talk with neighbors, inviting a friend to coffee, or hosting a get-together or open house on big game days.
6. Reassure Them That It’s Okay to Feel Nervous
Making friends can be scary! Let your child know that feeling shy or unsure is normal, and remind them that many kids are also looking for friends. Encourage small steps. Assure them that setbacks or lack of interest from others can happen but to keep moving forward. Motivational speaker Mel Robbin reminds people that the smallest actions can make the biggest changes. It’s okay if it takes time.
